Slumber Party Massacre II

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Directed by: Deborah Brock

Rating: 1 out of 4 Pentagrams

Reviewed by: Jeff Deth 

I was looking for a brainless 80’s slasher to get things going this Halloween season and Slumber Party Massacre II seemed right on the money. Walking down the aisles at Family Video the box art jumped out at me bringing back childhood memories. I gleefully snatched it up.

I knew what I was getting myself into and hoped only for some bloody laughs not horrific genius. The liner notes described the plot as a cross between Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Nightmare on Elm Street. Hhhhmmmm. Way to set the bar guys. This cheese fest exists squarely in Sleepaway Camp territory, no better.

But like I said, if that’s what you’re looking for you won’t be disappointed. People should just be more up-front about what they actual have to offer. I for one would not be off put in the least if they just told me, “This here is a gory teensploitation tit’s and ass slasher!”

There are scenes in this movie that are just flat out embarrassing to watch for everyone involved with the making of it. No one goes unscathed. The first half of the story is a ridiculous high school melodrama focusing on Courtney and her girlfriends who jam together in a garage band after school decked out in the worst 80’s fashion trends every created.

Not having seen the original film I was somewhat at a loss concerning the back-story of these characters. Most of the holes get filled in through dream sequence flashbacks. Apparently Courtney’s sister is locked away in a nuthouse after surviving the first film. Big sis keeps trying to give her spooky warnings about not having sex with the dude she’s in love with. But those dreams are flooded over by dreams of her going all the way with Matt the hunky lover-boy.

Warnings go unheeded, and the girls spend the weekend in a vacant house in the hills, getting hammered on champagne and eating corn dogs. Dudes show up to make things all hot and sexy, but I’m just glad the body count is going up.

Aside from the unbearable corniness of the story and acting, there are some great death’s to make this a worth wild slasher. The killer, or the “driller-Killer”, is a grease-monkey guitar player with an Ax that puts W.A.S.P. to shame. The custom guitar has a huge drill attached to the head making it a shredding instrument of death. 

I have no idea whether this guy is real, alive, dead or even human. It’s not really explained, he just appears and starts drilling holes in people. I wasn’t interested in logic at that point, I just wanted those annoying idiots to die!

I was fairly happy with the last 20 minutes of the movie, as it contained the only hints of a true horror film. The thing that throws it all off and prevents it from having any real balls is the awful soundtrack of goofy 80’s rock tunes which relentlessly undermine every effort to scare the audience. Driller Killer even breaks out into Rocky Horror song and dance for Chris-sake!

Bottom-line: Slumber Party Massacre II is mostly a joke of a film, a complete mockery of serious horror. On the other hand taken as an extremely campy slasher/comedy, it ain’t half bad. And I’m just trying to play nice here. I give everyone the benefit of doubt and enjoyed what little there was to enjoy, because hey, it was my Friday night.

Class of 1999

Class of 1999 (1990) Vestron Home Video

Director: Mark Lester

Tagline: Hired to Teach. Programmed to Kill.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 4 Pentagrams 

Reviewed by: Jeff Deth

Adults where fearful of a few things in the 80’s. One thing was the Cold-War and another was that MTV and Atari was going to turn their kids into murderous drug fiends. Well, this film would prove the second fear to be fully justified. Although Class of 1999 was released in 1990 I would have bet big money it was 1985. It carries with it all the trappings of that era of straight to VHS shlocksploitation.

I watched this film with a grin on my face the whole time.

This film is pure teen violence exploitation. I have to assume the filmmakers where taking a piss with this thing but even if they where trying to make a serious film it works just as well. Clearly though, its best to approach the viewing with the understanding that we’re just north of Tromaville territory.

In what was then the future of 1999, teenage gang violence has risen to catastrophic levels. Major cities have been quarantined off from society much like the case in Escape From New York, where the criminals are allowed to go ballistic, free of police intervention.

Inside what is known as the “Free-Fire Zone”, there is an actual high school still trying to function with Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange) as it’s principle. Amongst his student body every kid snorts vile after vile of “edge”, Dresses in punk-rock leather and chains and carries a machine gun. The film tries to honor much of the gang-banger ethos, with two main gangs who fight over territory, etc.

In order to regain control of the educational system, McDowell brings in Department of Educational Defense head Played by Stacey Keach. Keach who is always the same kind of hard-ass, is so again this time with a bleach blond rat-tail. Awesome. The problem is the teachers he brings in are actually military androids being tested by the government to prep them for warfare. Well if it’s war they want its war they get. Most of this film is one kill to the next from kids killing kids to cyborg teachers killing kids. Then in the end eventually the kids kill the cyborgs. If you took The Principal and mashed it together with The Terminator and Class of Nuk’em High you get Class of 1999. Also keep in mind this is a sequel to Class of 1984.

The sub-plot to all this violence is good old-fashioned bad boy meets good girl on campus. Our main character, Cody (Bradley Gregg) has just been released from prison is trying to go straight and falls for the only non-psychotic character in the film, the principles daughter, Christy. Don't you just love the name 'Christy'? But like the Godfather, just when he tries to pull out, they pull him right back in. Gangs are like that. But after all there’s not much for a person to do in 1999 other then snort drugs and beat the fuck out of people.

This is just outrageously over the top low-budget fun. There’s some great kills and special FX towards the finale when we finally get to see the droids in robot form. There’s no time wasted here just front to back action and laughs. And like I said, whether director Mark Lester wanted us to laugh or not is beside the point, he should be fucking happy his film is so enjoyable all these years later.

If you like violence, you will enjoy this film. If you hate authority, you will love this film. If you love costume design based on early 80’s street punks and junkies, you will love this film. I loved this film.