The New Barbarians

The New Barbarians

Directd by Enzo G. castellari

Rating: 3 out of 4 Pentagrams

Reviewed by: Jeff Deth

I’m predisposed with a strong fondness for post-apocalyptic themed sci-fi movies. So, I’m willing to cast aside judgment on issues of acting quality or believable costuming. In fact the more corny the acting and the more ridiculous the outfits the better. It’s what I’ve come to expect and appreciate from the slew of Road Warrior knockoffs that were produced throughout the 1980’s. Italy was a leading proponent of such flicks and The New Barbarians was one of them.

Director Enzo G. castellari is now famous for having directed the original Inglorious Bastards. I first became aware of him for directing 1990: The Bronx Warriors and Escape from the Bronx. As with a slew of other Italian directors of the era he aspired to copy successful American films for the Italian market with a much smaller budget.

The New Barbarians filmed in 1982 comes off the heels of 1981’s The Road Warrior and clearly draws inspiration from it. Mainly thematically not so much in terms of plot. The New Barbarians creates it’s own post nuclear war conditions in which a gang of death worshipers calling themselves the Templars seek to wipeout the remaining survivors completely.

The gang prowls the terrain on dirt bikes and war modified dune buggies rigged with drills, machine guns and spinning blades. The plot centers on a grizzled hero Scorpion and his young boy who attempt to thwart the evil plans of the Templar squad. The little kid is a jr. badass who picks off people by slingshoting explosives into their face. Scorpion rides around in his tricked out muscle car with machine guns spraying down the enemy.

Fred Williamson, a favorite cast in these type of films, plays another lone soldier Nadir, who doesn’t want so much to do good as much as he wants to get right in the middle of a fight. Don’t imagine there’s much else to do in a wasteland. His weapon of choice is a bow for slinging exploding arrows. The play this hilarious pimp music every time he’s making his way on screen.

Of course there’s a female who is rescued by Scorpion and needs to be further protected if he plans on making her his woman. That sets up most of the drama. There is a ton of high-speed chases and battles that take place.

This film is definitely over-the-top and cheesy but it’s so much fun it’s of no concern. There’s plenty of senseless violence and interesting characters to keep you entertained. If you are a fan of violent futuristic sci-fi, The New Barbarians won’t disappoint. But be forewarned that this is not The Terminator here, just a cheap low-budget shlockfest.

Warrior of the Lost World

WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD (1983)

Director: David Worth

Tagline: In another time... in a world ruled by tyranny and violence... only one man can stop the nightmare.

Rating: 3 out of 4 Skulls

Reviewed by: Jeff Deth

In a galaxy far, far away, this film starts out with a scrolling back-story. That story contains all the elements of a great low-budget 80’s sci-fi flick. After a nuclear disaster that leads to apocalyptic chaos, earth has been reduced into a big-ass car junkyard.

All kidding aside, this was quite a fun rip-off of Mad Max. Rip-off might be a little rough, but the filmmakers certainly pick up their steam off the success of the classic series. Just imagine Mad Max being made on an even lower budget with a lead actor who only has two modes of communicating, mumbling in a gruff, ‘I don’t give a fuck’ monotone and screaming banshee hysteria. The Rider played by Robert Ginty, bless his heart, does his best to channel Snake Pliscan but comes up a little short. The villain on the other had, played by the great Donald Pleasance, hits the mark as Prossor, an “evil despot”, whose costume oddly resembles Austin Powers’ Dr. Evil.

But this film isn’t about great acting or even the best special effects. What this film has going for it that really won me over is spirit. It’s so cheesy and odd on so many levels but is so earnest in being a tough apocalyptic action flick. The film really brings it when it comes to borrowing source material. There’s a Mad Max element, a Big Brother 1984 element and with the Rider’s talking motorcycle Einstein, you get a weird Knight Rider element. And if you’ve always thought Fascists had cool uniforms, Prosser’s Omega Army themselves have a cool visual appeal, borrowing black uniforms with a Nazi-like armband with the Omega symbol on a red triangle.

Aside from the Omegas you have a band of outsiders or “Enlightened Elders”, who have been hiding out in the mountains resisting Prosser and his tyranny of mind control. Basically though the resisters are a fucked up gang of painted face new-wavers, white Kung-Fu experts, some mean ass transvestites and a couple of guys that look like stand-ins for WWF wrestler Mankind. This gang is appears to be held together by some old dude who imagines himself a broke ass David Carradine.

When they aren’t striving for freedom they seem to be heavily engaged in a series of Royal Rumble brawls against each other. Well, they seem very bored and pent-up without the leadership of old geezer, Professor McWayne and his daughter, the exotic Nastasia. That was probably a hot name in the early 80’s but most of those bitches turned out to be cracked out hookers. Anyway this is were the true conflict of the film comes into play as the professor has been captured by Prossor’s army and stands to face execution by way of electrocution followed by blow torch fire burning. Strong stuff.

The Rider is a reluctant hero. As a loner badass, he would basically be happy ripping through no-mans land, periodically blowing up shit with missiles fired from one of his four exhaust pipes. But fate wouldn’t leave him alone. Before he knows it, he’s roped into saving the world after he crashes Einstein head-on into a mountain during a high-speed chase with the Omega patrol. As fortune would have it, the mountain is actually a secret portal into the lair of The New Way Gods, the upper echelon of the Outsider faction. They apparently hang out with Fred Williamson in this cave resembling an ice cooler, wearing togas. They fix The Rider up real good. Consequently though they expect him to go save Nastasia’s daddy-o from the Omega concentration camp. He is after all the Chosen One. Nastasia gives him some encouragement with a gun pointed at his wang.

And so we end up with a lot of action as The Rider and Natasha go on their search and rescue mission after McWayne. There’s this hilarious scene when they’re going through this cave and a bunch of zombies make an appearance out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason other to throw some zombies in there.

I was amazed at how many kills Rider racks up, he’s a one-man killing machine, tearing down the Omegas as they increasingly prove themselves to be the worst soldiers in human history. The first mission ends with the rescue of the father while leaving behind of the daughter, which necessitates a second mission.

This film has a bunch of awesome vehicle designs that get showcased in a plethora of car chase sequences. I also have to mention the laughable sound design whereby every sound from machine gun fire to helicopter propelling all seem to be made form the same video game sound gadget.

What scores the highest note for me is the soundtrack itself. Very John Carpenter-esque. Just awesome, I love that sound, it really carried the film.

This film is great for a Friday night of mindless late night viewing. It’s wildly entertaining if you can appreciate low-budget, hammy post-apocalyptic sci-fi.