Splatter Farm

Splatter Farm (1987)
Directed By: Mark Polonia, John Polonia, and Todd Smith
Camp Motion Pictures DVD
Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Pentagrams
Reviewed By: Jeff Deth

I’ve been brave enough to give Camp Motion Pictures another try, although I’m still recovering from the anguish of Woodchipper Massacre.

Expectations where low from the onset to avoid any emotional crash as the result of viewing. I simply placed the disc into the player and braced myself for the worst.
And that was certainly the smart thing to do but even still, I had braced for bad, not
insest rape, necrophilia and rape of the anal sort.

This was an incredibly uncomfortable film to watch. If you have a girlfriend, do not subject her to this vile offense. Unless she is extremely demented and tortured, in which case she may enjoy it.

The directing and staring twin brothers (Mark Polonia, John Polonia) play Allen and Joseph, two unbearably annoying twits paying a visit to their perverted sicko Aunt Lacey. Lacey, who is old enough to be their grandmother lives with the cannibalistic corpse fucker, Jeremy. Jeremy is responsible for tending to the farm and it’s animal inhabitants. Aside from that, he hovers around in the barn chopping up bodies and having sex with them.

The brothers, although extremely dim, begin to sense that auntie and her helping hand have got some weird stuff going on. It was only a matter of time before Jeremy is seen
defiling body parts and auntie can’t control her 60 year-old sexual appetite for young boys. Young boys she happens to be related to. Things spiral out of control and Jeremy gets to killing.

The acting is horrendous and stiff throughout. Although Jeremy is actually believable as a twisted backwoods freak as he doesn’t actually have to deliver many lines. The production is pure VHS quality. I will give it up to them in regards to special effects. Sure, they had no money but that didn’t hold them back. There was a definite effort put forth to create some actual “splatter” as promised. Everything looks fake and cheap but they tried and they manage to pull off some pretty disgusting stuff.

If this film intends to make the viewer feel sick and awkward, I believe it was a success. I can’t say it succeeded on many other fronts though. I was certainly taken off guard with all the sex-crime on display. There’s some shocking scenes without a doubt. Splatter Farm was a lot better than I prepared myself for but still not good enough to ever watch again as long as I live.