Hallowed Ground

Hallowed Ground (2007)

Directed by: David Benullo

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Pentagrams

Reviewed by: Jeff Deth

It’s hard to write an inspired review of the film Hallowed Ground. I didn’t ragefully hate it but I certainly didn’t like it. It’s basically blah when it comes right down to it.

The town of Hope is haunted, ooooowwwwww…

The scarecrow slasher subgenre has never been successfully done more than a couple of times but that doesn’t stop people from pulling it out of the gimmick bag for yet another go. And understand something, I wanted to enjoy this film; I hoped they could catch me off guard and do something that didn’t completely suck. I wanted them to succeed as much as they did. So we both end up losers.

The script is utterly contrived and predictable from the onset. A real, Children of the Corn, small hick town gone crazy cult killers deal. Some really distraught tough girl comes into town and bumps into a terribly phony tabloid journalist and together they go out into the cornfields to investigate the hundred-year-old murder of a religious nut-job priest. The cult-priest is just now due back from the dead via a reincarnation by way of childbirth. The grungified gen-x girl, Liz, is prophesized as the chosen one to carry the holy child. Just as soon as one of the backwards redneck yokels can deposit their seed in her. The priest materializes in the form of a scarecrow assembled from nothing but old bum clothes and hay. As soon as he drops down off of a crucifix he starts going to work with a pitchfork.

After the reporter and the town sheriff are killed the Priest somehow body jumps from the straw man into the Sheriff. At that point I completely lost interest. I don’t know what this film wanted to be and I don’t think the writer/director did either. It tries to cover a lot of ground in 83 flimsy minutes and never creates an identity of it’s own.

The main problem I have really boils down to the killer. The only thing that was mildly Fun to look at was the scarecrow when he comes out killing. The second he’s out of the picture things are totally lame. They were pretty damn lame when he was there to begin with.

Not all the acting was god-awful and the picture quality doesn’t look bad at all but every other aspect of the movie is a drag. Absolutely nothing you haven’t seen a bazillion times in better movies. On the other hand, it wasn’t so unbearable that I’m Spitting on my computer screen as I write this.

Presumably you would have something better to do with your 83 minutes than watch Hallowed Ground. I could have continued reading ‘Salems Lot on paperback. but something about watching a bad straight to DVD horror film is simply a part of my make-up. Part of my DNA. It’s in the very fiber of my being. Therefore, I need Hallowed Ground as much as it needs me. We’re in this together. For better or worse…  We need each other.